Steer Clear of The Resolution Trap by Avoiding These 4 Types of Nonsense to Cultivate Your Awareness About the Dangers of Self Help

On a Road to Self Acceptance with Tara Massan and Seth Singleton

We Start Out with a Check-in

The Butte and Camp Fires have made the air quality in Oakland very dangerous. 

I share a few personal examples including the joys and discomforts of wearing an air mask on a daily basis.

Tara is enjoying a snowstorm that she describes as just normal for where she lives in Minnesota. Tara welcomes the snow because it coats the bleak winter landscape when it is dry.

New-Year's-Eve-Hat-Gutter
Don’t let your New Year’s goals end up in the gutter


When Self-Help Goes Bad

There are two main sections Tara wants to address:

The Dangers of Self-Help and Nonsense we have heard of ourselves. 

The Dangers of Self-Help

  • Self-help can reinforce feelings of shame and guilt and being less than
  • Self-help can enable avoidance and procrastination
  • Self-help creates more analysis by paralysis
  • Self-help is a diminishing return

Self-help creates the urge to say I want to fix this…

That’s great if you want to live to your potential.

But diving in can become, “I can’t fix a problem until I fix what is wrong with me.”

Self-Help is a business that sells information

Not a product that is tangible 

To keep you hooked you have to keep fixing what is wrong with youYou don’t have to be or think a certain way to be worthy

It gets you addicted to the idea that you are not enough.

  • What’s wrong with you?
  • You should be doing this?
  • Needing help
  • Find a coac
  • Guilt is not help
  • Not Good Enough
  • Never be Good Enough
  • You’ll Never Be Good Enough Until You Do This
  • There’s Something Wrong You

Self Help is a product of searching and discovery

Specific examples and results

  • Self-Help as a bandaid 
  • And a form of avoidance
  • Meaningful action
  • Build a door to enter a room
  • I kind of cut her off here
  • Embracing the suck 
  • Rumi- all the answers you seek are within you
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Photo courtesy Makarios Tang on Unsplash

4 Types of Nonsense

1. You learn to be successful by listening to successful people

  • How many people have followed this advice and failed?
  • How many did not follow and succeeded?
  • Do you they have a hidden variable like luck or money?

2. Positive Psychology 

  • Good to ask what is the positive here?
  • This has led to “Avoid Negative Thinking”
  • Address a deep confliction
  • Negative reveals discovery about self
  • Negative attitudes reveal unreal expectations
  • It’s ignoring that you are sick
  • Negative perception
  • You will experience both
  • Sometimes its a bad mood and you don’t have to sit in it
  • But to ignore it is to make yourself sick

3. Procrastination

  • Leonardo da Vinci
  • Procrastination can birth a new idea
  • It doesn’t make you a bad person
  • Recognize an indicator 
  • Take a minute to pay attention

4. Follow your PassionDoes not mean, “Screw your job.”Or that you are Entitled to live your life only by your terms

  • your passion may not be your income
  • It may not lead to greatness
  • Beware Misrepresentation 
  • Passion requires work
  • Invest in your passion 
  • You still have to do something about it

Developing Your Awareness 

  • Think Critically
  • Be comfortable seeing things that might not feel comfortable.

This podcast is Part 3 of a series on Self Acceptance.

For Part 1 click here.

Tara Massan

Tara Massan is a Yoga Teacher, Personal Trainer, and Lifestyle Coach.

She helps chronically stressed out adults create healthier lifestyles by addressing their obstacles through her 4 Pillars of Health: Mindset-Movement-Nutrition-Rest.

She is also the creator of Be Moved and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, US Weekly and the Huffington Post.

She has contributed to over 20 publications with one purpose: To help others live a healthier life.

You can connect with Tara by visiting her website www.taramassan.com or emailing her at tara@taramassan.com

Seth Singleton…

is a storyteller. He is the writing team editor at Blue Alchemy Studios and its upcoming release, Planet Rise.

A free-agent writer who works by project and contract, Seth believes that stories are a common thread that connects us all and that everyone has a story to tell.

To contact him about a writing or podcast project email him at sethsingleton@gmail.com

What do you do when it doesn’t feel like Christmas? A few thoughts about perspective

By Seth Singleton

https://anchor.fm/seth-the-storyteller/embed/episodes/What-do-you-do-when-it-doesnt-feel-like-Christmas--A-few-thoughts-about-perspective-e2qtbo

What’s in a feeling?

Christmas is so much more than a day on the calendar. It is a time of magic and wonder in the eyes of many children and adults. But, Christmas is also a state of mind.

It’s as much a day on the calendar as it is a day of presents and games and celebration.

Christmas-model-figurines-loading-christmas-tree

Yesterday was Christmas Eve.

It was also my father’s birthday.

That morning he woke up in a hospital bed waiting for a scheduled date when he will be wheeled into the operating room for open heart surgery. I don’t think it felt like much of a birthday and today probably doesn’t feel like any Christmas that he remembers or imagined.

But, he also taught me that Christmas like everything else is about perspective. Sometimes seeing past the challenges and complications is about changing the way you are looking.

There are other times when the real trick is learning to change where you are setting your sights when you look. 

Perspective-toy-Volkswagen-Christmas-tree-on-top

Christmas may not look like we remember and it may not feel like we expect it should, but it still has the ability to remind us that we can rise above the challenges when we remember that the holiday we celebrate is a reflection of the investment we make to experience it.


About the Guy hosting this podcast:

Seth Singleton is a storyteller.

He is the writing team editor at Blue Alchemy Studios and its upcoming release, Planet Rise and a free-agent writer who works by project and contract.

Seth believes that stories are a common thread that connects us all and that everyone has a story to tell.

To send questions and comments or to contact Seth about a writing or podcast project email him at sethsingleton@gmail.com

#Christmas #ChristmasEve #Holiday #Perspective #Writing #Podcast #Family #Story 

Dancers-on-a-Stage

The Jack Katz Podcast Conversation Part 2: The Replication of our Downfall and Our Steps into Wonder

Replication & Where we left off…

When we left off our conversation with Jack, a time traveler had arrived from the future, only to find he was not far enough in the past. The computers had taken over. The machines created by the computers attend to everything people needed and it made humans weak. Things sounded grim.

Replication

A recurring theme in The First Kingdom is the rise and fall of civilizations and the events that eventually bring about their destruction. A desire for immortality is among the motivations that are often driving the creators and innovators. 

One solution created is a memory serum that retains the entire scope of a culture’s knowledge. The serum can be used to share this knowledge with the replicants called Humanoids.

The Humanoids were made by a man who had a near-death experience as a child and wanted to stave off death for everyone. At one point, he takes the memory serum to prevent his own inevitable death.

Gladiator-Cover-Hero-Surrounded-by-floating-heads-of-Four-Women

“Art is the glorification of the human body.” 

         Jack Katz

The Fiction We Know is Replicated 

Tarzan is not an original story. According to Jack, there are no original stories. Jack in the Jungle and Jack the Lion Tamer were both written by PT Barnum and are the basis for the Tarzan stories written by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Philip Wiley wrote the Gladiator which Jack believes was the inspiration for Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel’s seminal Superman.  Jack even shares a personal story about these two co-creators in the first part of our conversation.

People are Steeped in Ambivalence 

Jack is exacerbated by people steeped in the same ambivalence. He believes people are terrified and need to hold on to something. Jack has found the god of Einstein and it has allowed him to focus on completing the Beyond the Beyond.

When Jack met Charles Clarence (C.C). Beck, who was the first artist assigned to draw the character of Captain Marvel, originally dubbed Captain Thunder by writer Bill Parker, “He knew I was supposed to do Captain Marvel Jr.” 

Pencil-drawing-page-partial-inks

“He already knew about me from Bulletman and Bulletdog.”

Jack Kaz

Jack remembers Beck enjoyed designing swords and hilts, and that he was a “Wonderful little gentleman.” Maybe it has to do with his belief that Captain Marvel was better than Superman.

When Jack wrote his own story of a character with immense power he named it The Last Immortal. He then introduced a girl who was dying of cancer and asked, “What can superpowers do against cancer?”

Jack-Katz-Comic-Strip-pencils-three-panels-partial-ink

Matt Baker and Mankind

Jack claims that Baker was the best example of an artist making it in the business. Jack made the mistake of pointing this out to Baker, and when it was overheard — “I lost my job when I said he was too good for this… I said he should be working at Playboy.”

“I loved Matt Baker – admired his ability to draw women. He had a bad heart, and he was a beautiful person.”

Jack Katz

He is one of the many artists who inspired Jack to pursue his independent opus The First Kingdom.

“The Kingdom is like a silent mention,” he told me. “One day the world will be ready for substance.”

Jack-Katz-finger-pointing-to-title-page-of-The-First-Kingdom
Jack Katz and his opus

This includes a trial of the fantasy that we create. As Jack points out, “Mankind can’t handle the situation he is born into — it’s the vicissitude. during the trial the judge is Consciousness. Upon the suggestion that they are all fabrications, Consciousness learns she does not have the authority she thought she had

Our conversation is interrupted by sirens, and then Jack responds that he is unlike the fabricators because “I glorify the human body. It’s our temple. The registry of our identity.”

Jack-Katz-Pencils-Panels-Page

Cycles – Skywald – dick Giordano

The First Kingdom is 1070 pages. It tells the story of many advanced societies who are brought down by the problems they create. 

“When I worked at Skywald,” Jack begins, he developed a jungle character raised by lions, not apes. Jack wanted to give credit to PT Barnum who he admires. Sadly, Barnum was a gifted writer who “took his intelligence to the worst possible places”

So, Jack honored him with the character Zangar.

Jack-Katz-Pages-from-The-First-Kingdom

It was Dick Giordano who visited Jack to make an offer from DC on a new project. Giordano had created the Charlton Comics characters known as the “Action Heroes. He later became the executive editor of DC Comics.

“The only thing interested in was The Imaginator,” Jack said. “(He) Loved the idea, but it never came off and then he died.”

“We are afraid to be original.”


Jack Katz

Downfall

“Society creates its downfall.,” says Jack. “Built-in from the first breath and the pain and carried through trace memories. You cannot get rid of memory. My desire must be rewarded with punishment. It all leads to our own self-destruction.”

Why?

“There’s a kind of evil or disassociation,” he continues. “Some people are born without a conscious.”

Hear the rest of the story in the podcast at the top of this post.

Subscribe to this website and the Storytelling with Seth podcast to make sure that you never miss a story.

To hear the first part of our conversation click here.

To contact Seth Singleton click here.

Are You Ready to Join a Podcast Conversation On a Road to Self Acceptance with Tara Massan and Seth Singleton?

By Seth Singleton

Doing the Hard Things

It’s not easy to talk about a subject like Self Acceptance.

That’s why it can help when you have a guide.

I was lucky enough to meet Tara Massan.

Tara-Massan

The Mission

Her mission is to help others lead a healthier life.

She was willing to share her experience and understanding with me and invite me to join her in a series of conversations about what Self Acceptance means and what it can mean for each of us.

Listen to the story of how our first conversation was supposed to be the first podcast, and how starting with Self Acceptance, was something that I had to take to heart when our first recording was lost.

Join us today On a Road to Self Acceptance.


About Tara Massan:

Tara Massan is a Yoga Teacher, Personal Trainer, and Lifestyle Coach.

She helps chronically stressed out adults create healthier lifestyles by addressing their obstacles through her 4 Pillars of Health: Mindset-Movement-Nutrition-Rest.

She is also the creator of Be Moved and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, US Weekly and the Huffington Post.

She has also contributed to over 20 publications with one purpose: To help others live a healthier life.

You can connect with Tara by visiting her website (www.taramassan.com) or sending her an email at tara@taramassan.com

To contact Seth Singleton about content on this blog click here

Flick-the-flint-of-a-lighter-ignite-the-flame

When you edit for your readers it clears the smoke so you can see the fire and enjoy the true pleasure of revision

I decided to record a podcast and write this post about editing for a few reasons.

The first is that I am working on a draft of a novel.

The next is that I am also editing my first audiobook collection.

I am also the editor for the writing team on an upcoming digital strategy card game called Planet Rise. It’s the first game of its kind to offer a complete story. We are currently editing one of our drafts in preparation for the upcoming AfroComiCon in October.

Each process allows me to view the approaches I am taking and the results I am experiencing with a critical eye. The better I can understand my process the more complete I can refine editing my work and the work of others.

 

typeset-editing-letters

 

I’m also talking about editing because it is hard. The goal is to make the work better, but that means painful choices that can create more questions and problems than it seems to solve, at the moment. It can show you gaps where you need more work and where you are being redundant. Both can be demoralizing if you are unprepared, and can still be frustrating even when you think you are ready.

I have a story on Amazon called This is a Language of Fists. It started about 18 years ago with a scene. A cold wind moving through a boxing arena in a small setting, and the fighters, and the people there to watch them. Later I added a scene about running on a beach.

That scene grew to between 25-30 pages over the next 10-12 drafts. Then I whittled them down to about 15-18 pages. Ten drafts later, I was back to 22-24. Sometime after the 25th draft, I began slowly paring back to 21 pages and then finally to the 20 pages that I published. I asked classmates and teachers and advisors for their edits.

I don’t remember when I crossed the 30th draft because by then it did not matter. What mattered, was that each round of edits brought me closer. And that became my single goal. Getting closer. Doing it again. Looking for opportunities to make my ideas clearer.

“You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you, and we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.” – Arthur Plotnik

Seeing the fire

Writing and editing are very similar. According to Arthur Plotnik, “You write to communicate to the hearts and minds of others what’s burning inside you, and we edit to let the fire show through the smoke.”

When you’re trying to write and, when you are writing, you are crafting the ideas as they come. Whether you are using an outline or structure, there is still the moment of inspiration and excitement, and those moments can’t be planned for but it’s the editing where writers have the opportunity to shape the story.  As Plotnik says, to let the fire show through this book.

It’s a great image when you think about starting a fire, and how the initial effect can be hard to see at first. But the best signal is the smoke when the fire begins to brew and the bits of kindling and starter are working that under the larger pieces of wood you are hoping to burn.

 

Seeing-the-Fire-and-sparks-at-night

 

Once that smoke clears, the fire is burning so cleanly that it is only producing the flames. The act of feeding on oxygen and the fuel of the wood eliminates the opportunity for the smoke to billow.

That’s when a fire is really enjoyed. When the light and the shadows it casts, and the heat and in many ways the nostalgia. The ability to trace all of the moments you were entertained by a fire. The timeline from your first moment with a fire. Whether outside or in front of a fireplace. It is something we connect to every time we enjoy a fire.

It’s the same with great stories.  They are something entertaining. The more they can engage us with their best representations There is a timeline in our minds of the stories that we have enjoyed

Letting the Smoke Clear

This became true for me while I was working on the first draft of a novel and many of the pieces that were coming together began to crowd my storytelling. And, I realized that I needed to find a way to set myself up so that the story would allow me to come back in. But, that when I came back in it would be with direction and purpose.

So I employed a tried and true method of writing my ending and then walking away. So that when I came back to finish that draft I could see the pieces that needed to be filled in and the threads that I needed to connect to that ending in order for the framework of it to be maintained.

So that my first draft would have these many through-lines and an ending, that I could then begin working with as I edited.

 

Smoke-over-trees-mountains-in-sunlight

 

It was helpful because that period of breathing allowed the smoke to clear. For any confusion, I might have been experiencing at that moment to abate. And by stepping back and allowing the flames to burn, and knowing I had already set up this fire so that it would reach the ending, which would be, in my mind, roaring and burn with all of the excitement that it had begun with.

That stepping back and letting it breathe meant that the smoke could clear. And as it began to burn in my mind with what I had developed, with what I had built on top and everything all I had been reaching for then the pieces became clearer.

The missing threads were easier to see. I could identify all of the trees in my forest that I had not described the way I wanted to in order for the story to be complete. And now that they were identified. I could go back in and work on them with a purpose.

Knowing that, by doing so, with each one of those details and corrections, I was getting closer to my ending. I was creating this story that would burn a fire that would entertain. And something that I believed that would really create a value to the storytelling.

That if I had not allowed it to happen, that value might have been something I rushed passed towards something else that I assumed meant completion.

Because I was able to enjoy that period of waiting, the anticipation and the sense of, well, definitely of relief and also a sense of comfort. When the smoke began to clear I could see the flames, much brighter than they had been before and that was a guiding light.

 

Spinning-twisting-flames

Revision is a pleasure of writing

There’s a really great quote below that illustrates editing your words the moment you realize what is wrong.

“Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.”

―Dark Jar Tin Zoo, Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

Note the pause. It only took saying it once for the speaker to realize where their mistake had occurred and to backtrack and fix it by applying two little commas. By doing so, not only is the meaning, but the intention changed.

I think it is a great set up for this quote by Bernard Malamud. He won both the Pulitzer Prize in fiction and the National Book Award, but I still know him best as an author of The Natural, which captures a snapshot of baseball during it’s earliest heyday.

“I would write a book, or a short story, at least three times—once to understand it, the second time to improve the prose, and a third to compel it to say what it still must say. Somewhere I put it this way: first drafts are for learning what one’s fiction wants him to say. Revision works with that knowledge to enlarge and enhance an idea, to reform it. Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.” – Bernard Malamud

Two different approaches to examining your work after it’s been produced.

One is the quick recovery, a verbal adjustment or correction. Or even a written correction that immediately follows to show just how quickly the desire is to fix where the mistake lies.

The other approach is the longer form. It goes back to that idea of the entertainment of the fire. Knowing what you are creating is part of the excitement in building a fire.

Knowing that it is the small pieces, the starter material, and the kindling, and finally, the larger pieces which let the fire roar and reach its crescendo and then a resolution glowing with the soothing warmth of the coals.

Pleasure-like-glowing-embers

Denying yourself that pleasure removes one of the aspects that Malamud points to here regarding the idea of revision.

What that fiction wants you to say. It’s a pleasure of writing. It’s an opportunity. It’s a gift because it requires time.

Time seems to be one of those resources that we are always in short supply. But, by dedicating time to this pursuit, we are actually taking pleasure in using our time for something that gives us pleasure.

The chance to take what we are writing and to make sure it’s saying what we believe, the best way we want it to and the best way we know we can make it sound.

You don’t have to kill your darlings, but…

None of this means that editing is easy. Or that the parts that are easy will guarantee that the rest of it, when it does get easier, will stay that way. It only promises that there will be hard choices.

Steven King loves to say, “Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.”

Even if you are not egocentric when it comes to your darlings, they are your darlings for a reason.

They brought you to a certain place in your storytelling, that has added a value to that story. Removing them challenges the work that you have invested. But, because your intention is to make this your best work, to follow the approach of writers like Malamud, and others by understanding the story and then working to make that knowledge broader, makes the hard decisions necessary.

Hand-reachnig-out-of-shadows

And it can give you the incentive to push past personal attachment or even emotional attachment to those darlings. Just because you are editing them from this piece of work does not mean you are removing them from existence. There is comfort in having a small notes file that allows you to look back on them with kindness and fondness.

Even if it just ends up being in a piece about all the things you did not get to use while writing that book.

And I think knowing, that by storing them in that document or folder and keeping them alive there, you haven’t really killed them. You’ve moved them to another plane of existence and potentially they can be reincarnated, recycled, or whatever the philosophy works best for you.

They can be repurposed into your writing. And you might never know when that will happen or if that will happen. But, that their possibility will always be alive as long as you keep them in that document.

“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”―Dr. Seuss

Edit for your Readers

When it comes to any final thoughts about editing, that can often be first thoughts when starting the process, is to keep in mind why we do it. And the real purpose behind editing has to do with the reader.

There is a very sweet quote from Dr. Seuss that says,“So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the reader who reads.”

It starts simple, with the idea of the writer simply creating too many words, more than is necessary, but it ends actually, with an interesting warning.

Because, not only does it become a chore for the reader, but it becomes a chore for the reader who reads.

A reader who reads is a reader who is paying attention, and If they recognize that the writer is using more words than they need, they will believe that the writer is actually making it harder for them.

And that is going to challenge the reader’s thoughts regarding the investment of their time into a work that in many ways is not respecting their time. Or the investment they are taking.

And whether it’s worth that amount of work.

Book-open-writing-light-on-page

That can make the difference between the reader finishing what you have written, or deciding that it is simply too much work to try and understand what you might be talking about. But, what you have not made clear enough to them to help them understand, with a reason that helps them as they continue reading.

By asking the reader to invest their time, you are telling them you are going to share something with them that they didn’t know or that they can now understand in a way that they didn’t consider before.

Or many of the other revelations that can come from your writing that is beyond your initial intent.

That can only happen when the writing has been edited to a point where all of those possibilities are clear enough to be seen, and when it comes to getting that writing in front of someone’s eyes, making it difficult for the reader can prevent your writing from moving beyond the editor’s desk.

There’s another great quote from J. Russel Lynes that says,”No author dislikes to be edited as much as he dislikes not to be published.”

If you are trying to get your work past the editor’s desk, the amount of time you invest in editing before you send it off it will improve your chances that the best work, the best writing, and the idea that you have now begun to understand even more clearly, has been presented more concisely.

It’s because of the many attempts and approaches you have made to make it transparent for them, with as little as effort as might be possible, for them to understand, to engage and more importantly, to continue reading all the way to the end.

To contact Seth about Content, Editing, Podcasts, or to just talk about writing, click here.